Lilith Langtree’s – Chaos Magic

TG Fiction – Nothing is True and Everything is Permitted

A hard and soft day

Some of you may remember that someone that is close to me might or might not have ovarian cancer. I went with her to Mobile, Alabama to see an expert in the field.

It’s been two weeks (i think) since I rushed her to the emergency room for her CAT scan because of some intense abdominal pains she was having. The attending physician there told her it was ovarian cancer without doing any more tests than that.

Ladies and gentlemen introducing idiot number one. Idiot number two came in a few minutes later, an oncologist, who told her she was going to die and referred her to another clinic. 

Two days later i found out that there were no blood tests, and no biopsy performed. So what i was wondering was, how in the hell were they able to tell it was cancer? All you can tell from a CAT scan is that something is there, not what it is.

So, I took over and called around hunting down someone that could perform the biopsy. A private clinic an hour north of here raised their hand and said we can do it. So I made an appointment. Introducing idiot number three. We waited for another week, went there and the doctor told her that they don’t do that kind of test there. They thought I was calling to have a pap smear performed.

Excuse me, but what does having a pap smear and Ovarian Cancer have in common? Nothing. Pap Smears are for cervical cancer.

Luckily that doctor referred us to someone that could actually help. Thus today’s trip.

Now that we’ve seen him, we know that it could be a few different things, least of which could be a cyst, worst of which could be cancer, and he said they needed a biopsy in order to tell.


So, we’re sitting there in the consultation room , and there’s all these handy dandy cut-away models of the lower half of a woman. Don’t worry they weren’t real. 😉

She was crying after the examination, thinking the worst, like a lot of people do when the C-word is mentioned.  She pointed down at the cut-away half of a woman’s butt (a side shot… kinda gross now that I think about it.)  She giggles amidst her tears.

So I took advantage of the moment and picked it up acting like a professional… maybe a professor or something. “This is your butt.”

Then acting like a valley girl, “Really. OMG my butt’s never looked so awesome! I’m like a size zero or something! And it’s so firm!”

That got her laughing, but of course the doctor chose that moment to come in and look at me as if to say, “Quit fondling my plastic butt, I paid good money for that, and you’re not holding it right.”

The moral of this story is don’t be an idiot and leave the doctor’s plastic butt alone.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011 at 19:50 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “A hard and soft day”

  1. Christelle
    10:56 on March 2nd, 2011

    Wow…that’s a lot of idiots to go through for one adventure.

    I really hope it’s a cyst. And brownie points to you for making her laugh!


  2. Lilith Langtree
    06:59 on March 3rd, 2011

    I think I’m the only one that is hopeful. She’s already given up (for multiple reasons, not just because of this). All of her family with the exception of one sister (it’s a big family) are treating her like she’s already dead.

    It’s amazing how people don’t want to have anything to do with someone that they even suspect might have cancer. It’s not like it’s contagious or anything. I guess they’re just afraid of dealing with the inevitable issues surrounding it. It was the same for me, years ago when I went through my bout.

    I came through it fine and had a much rougher time with it. Chemo theses days doesn’t make you sick for hours on end anymore, just tired and bald. Hell, I would have loved that.

    People are weird.